Prazno/Empty

Prazno *by PoLona Klemenc*

Zrem v ogledalo.

Ni me v odsevu.

Ni pravi občutek.

Sem duh v svojih mislih.

Sem tisti, ki sem ga pustil za sabo.

Vseskozi romam po hiši.

Zdi se, da nič ni narobe.

In nič ni prav.

Ne opazim se.

Stopim kar skozi sebe.

Zrem v ogledalo.

Prazno je.

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Empty *by PoLona Klemenc*

I stare at the mirror.

I'm not in the reflection.

It doesn't feel right.

I'm the ghost inside my mind.

I'm the one I left behind.

I keep on roaming the house.

It seems like nothing is wrong.

And nothing is right.

I don't notice myself.

I walk straight through myself.

I stare at the mirror.

It's empty.

Klasifikacija najboljši prijatelj/Best friend material

Tole bom napisala za moje najbolše prijatelje ... Ok, zaradi mojih najboljših prijateljev ... Tistih, ki so do nedavnega to bili ... V angleščini sem res dobro besedno zvezo najdla hehe ... Kam to pelje? Kmalu bom kvalificirana kot genij ali pač kot norec ... Če je bilo sploh kdaj pomembno ...

Zgodba poteka ... 2 najboljša prijatela sta me odpikala kot najboljšega prijatelja ...
Eden me je odpikal zaradi sten, ki sem jih gradila okoli sebe (v bistvu so se same in jaz se jih še vedno ne morem znebiti - niti malo) in zato, ker sem egoistična - kar nisem, sem egocentrična in ja tu je razlika ... Egocentrično je bližje narcisističnemu in egoistično je bližje materialističnemu: v kolikor to zadeva mene ...
Drugi mi je dejal, da ne morem biti najboljša prijateljica zaradi nekih okoliščin ... Karkoli je že to pomenilo ... Zdi se mi, da ima probleme s t.i. (tako imenovano) fant-dekle razmerje, ki pravi, da fant in dekle ne moreta biti najboljša prijatelja ... Tako ali drugače se nikoli nisem imela za dekle ...

Ampak oba imam tako zelo rada. Reči hočem, zelo majhna skupina oseb je, ki so mi blizu, pa čeprav imam vsaj malo rada veliko ljudi ... Imela sem 7 najboljših prijateljev (samo 5 sedaj). Za te fante in punce dam življenje! Sedaj pa se vse zdi kot neokusne, slabe sanje. Najboljši prijatelj pride k meni in reče: " Eiga, veš, ne moreva biti najboljša prijatelja. Preprosto ni prav." Potem mi pove kakšne scene mu/ji delam ...

Izgleda, da ne morem biti klasificirana za najboljšega prijatelja. Ampak zakaj? Kako prepoznaš najboljšega prijatelja od normalnega prijatelja in ostalih? Kje je zanka?
Saj bom tam, ko me boš potreboval, vedno bom imela ramo na kateri se lahko razjočeš, izmišljevala si bom najbolj trapaste vice, samo da te spravim v boljšo voljo, pa četudi to pomeni, da bom iz sebe naredila budalo. Življenje bom dala zate.
Poskušam biti boljša oseba. Lahko se in bom se prilagodila, če bo potrebno, ampak to ne pomeni, da bom tiho, če bom hotela nekaj spornega povedati.. Poslušala bom in povedala zakaj se ne strinjam, če je konflikt. In stala bom za svojimi besedami, kot se to reče pri nas. Ne glede na vse. Ali me to naredi manjšo osebo? Manj prijatelja? In če že, zakaj? Priznam svojo zmoto, ampak, če je ni oziroma je ne sprejmem kot to, tu ni več za povedati.
Ne bom rekla, da nisem dekle, zato, da ti bom lahko prijatelj. To pravim zato, ker se ne počutim kot dekle. Pa čeprav so mi fantje všeč. Pa kaj potem? Ali to pomeni, da sem dekle? Kaj pa, če sem fant ujed v dekliškem telesu? Mogoče sem tomboy. Mogoče tega sranja sploh ni. Obstaja več takih, kot sem sama. Fantje ujeti v dekliškem telesu in obratno. Ali nas to naredi slabša bitja? Zakaj tako?

Ne vem zakaj sploh obstajajo najboljši prijatelji in manj prijatelji. Ne razumem kaj me naredi ne-najboljšega-prijatelja. Ker te ne pokličem vsak dan? To ne pomeni, da obstaja dan, ko vsaj enkrat ne pomislim nate. To ne pomeni, da mi nisi drag. Sem hladno, kar mrzlo, bitje. Svoja občutja držim zase. Priznam, da se včasih kar preveč zaprem vase, ampak taka sem odkar sem bila majcena deklica. Ja nekoč sem slednje bila. Ampak sedaj nisem velika deklica. Tudi ženska nisem.
Sem nekaj, kar je ujeto zunaj škatle ( po ameriško). Vedno sem bila izven škatle in v mnogih primerih. Je to tako grozen zločin? Zakaj tako? Tisočkrat bi bila križana in zažgana na grmadi, preprosto zato, ker sem, kar sem. Saj bi morala biti, menijo mnogi. Ali pa rečejo, da tako ne mislijo, ampak še vseeeno se vedno tako zdi. Sovražim svojo drugačnost, ampak gnusna mi je misel, da bi bila taka kot so vsi drugi, samo zato, da bi me nekdo maral, ljubil. Tole bi morala napisati deset let nazaj, ampak nikoli prej mi nihče ni rekel, da noče biti moj najboljši prijatelj zato, ker sem, kakršna sem. Hudiča, deset let nazaj sploh vedela nisem kaj najboljši prijatelj je. Tudi sedaj nisem prepričana, da vem, kakšen vrag to je. Morala bi se bolj odpreti. Ampak tega se bojim, vem. Priznam. Ne vem niti kako se odpreti. Nisem dobra z besedami. Vsaj ne, kadar jih je potrebno spregovoriti. Jih spraviti na odprto. Ne zmorem tega. Hvala bogu za pisavo heh heh.


Mir. Hvala, da ste brali to sranje. Če že veste odgovor, kar povejte. Vesela bom vsake besede. Rada poslušam. Vsaj to znam.

Love ye all!
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I'm going to write this one for my best friends ... Ok, because of my best friends ... Best friends used-to-be-s ... LoL heh making up new things all the time ... Where's it leading me? Soon I'll be either quallified as a genius or a nutter ... If it ever mattered ...
The story goes by ... 2 best friends told me off as a best friend ...
One told me he couldn't take me as one because of the walls I built around me ( they built themselves really and I still can't just bring them down - at all) and because I'm egoistic - which I'm not, I'm egocentric and yes there's a difference ... Egocentric is closer to narcissistic and egoistic is closer to materialistic: as far as I'm concerned ...
The other one told me I could never be his best friend because of the circumstances ... Whatever that meant ... I think he has an issue with that boy - girl relationship about boys and girls not being able to be best friends ... I never considered myself a girl really ...

But I love them both so much. I mean I only feel close to a small group of people even though I like many ... I had 7 best friends at once (5 now). I'd give life for these lads n lasses. And now everything seems like a bad dream. My best friend comes up to me and says: "Hey, we can't be best friends. It just doesn't feel right." Then they speak about issues thy're having with me ...

Seems like I'm not a best-friend material. But why? How can u tell a best-friend material from a friend material and other materials? Where's the catch really?
I'll be there for you when you need me, I'll have a shoulder for you to cry on, I'll make up stupid jokes just to make you feel better even if it means making a fool of myself. I'll give my life for you.
I do try to be a better person and I can and will adapt too when needed, but that won't mean that I'll back off when I try to make a point. I'll listen and tell why I disagree if I do. And I will stand behind my words as we say in Slovenia, no matter what. Does that make me a lesser person? A lesser friend? If yes, why so? I'll admit my mistake, but if it isn't or I don't take it as one, there's nothing more to talk about.
I don't want to say I'm not a girl just to be your friend, I'm saying it because I really don't feel like one. Even though I like boys. So what? Does that meant I am one? What if I'm a boy caught in a girls body? Maybe I'm just a tomboy. Maybe there is no shit like that. There are others like me. Boys caught in girls body and otherwise. Does that make us lesser beings? Why so?

I don't know why there are such things like best friends and lesser friends. I don't understand what makes me non-best-friend material. Because I don't call u every day? That don't mean I don't think of you every day. That doesn't mean I don't think of you dearly. I'm a cold distant creature. I keep my feelings to myself. I do admit I can be too closed up, but I've been so ever since I was a little girl. Yes I was a little girl once. But now I'm not a big one. Not a woman either. I'm something caught outside the box. I've always been outside the box in many ways. Is that such a crime? Why so? I would be thousand times crucified and burned like a stake for being myself. I should many will think. Or maybe they'd say that is not what they meant, but still it always seems so. I hate being different, but I refuse to be the same as all the others just to be liked, loved by someone. I should have written this ten years ago, but I've never really been told I couldn't be somebodys best friend because of being me. Hell ten years ago I didn't even know what a best friend was. I'm not sure I know now either. I should open up. But I'm afraid to, I know. I admit. I don't even know how to open up. I am not good at words. Not as long as I have to speak them up. Bring them out. I can't. Thank god for writing, heh heh.


Peace. Thanks for reading this shit. If you know an answer to this, speak up. I'd be glad to listen. That I can do.

Love ye all!

Sowrazimo drugacne/Letz hate those who differ from us!!!

Drugacno sem od tebe. In ti si drugacen od mene. To je resnica. In je dejstvo.
Zakaj smo si drugacni? Zakaj bi morali biti enaki?
Nisem tako kot ti. In tudi nocem biti tako kot si. Nocem imeti twojega obraza ali las, twojih oci, tipa/barwe koze. Nocem imeti istega pogleda na swet kot ga imas ti. Nocem imeti glasu kakrsnega imas ti. Nocem pisati pesmi in zgodb na nacine na kakrsne jih ti.
Nocem te uzaliti. Nikogar izmed was. Ampak ce bi imelo enake kwalitete kot ti ali izglede, twoje popolno telo ... To ne bi wec bilo jaz.
Sem posebno in popolno in hocem ostati posebno in popolno. Praw tak si ti. In ti moras ostati ti. Eden in edini. Ti.
Ne sowrazi tistih, ki so ali hocejo biti drugacni. Moral bi jih spostowati mnogo bolj kot spostujes tiste, ki tebi hocejo biti enaki.

Ampak pomni; cez wse spostuj sebe.
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I am different from you. And you are different from me. This is the truth. And is also a fact.
Why are we different? Why should we all be the same?
I am not like you. I dont want to be as you are. I dont want to have your face or your hair, your eyes, the type/collor of your skin. I dont want to have the exact same view on the world as you. I dont want to have a voice like yours. I dont want to write songs and stories the ways you do.
I dont want to insult you. Any of you. But having just the same qualities you have or the looks, your perfect body ... It wouldnt be me anymore.
I am special and perfect and want to remain special and perfect. And so are you. And you should remain you. One and only. You.
Dont hate those who are or want to be different. U should respect them much more than u respect those who want to be like you.

But remember; over all respect yourself.

Mi laže w obraz/Lying at my face

Kaj je dandanes narobe z ljudmi? Zakaj se lazejo? Zakaj prikiwajo resnico? Zakaj mene tretirajo za laznjiwca samo zato ker so sami taki in ker se samo ne znajdem w besedah? Zakaj ne moremo ziweti w swetu kjer preprosto wes kako nekaj powedati nekomu brez da bi on kasneje obrnil wsako besedo, ki jo izreces?
Hocem da meni goworite resnico. Hocem jo, ljubim jo in prenesla jo bom lazje kot pa dobro zacinjeno laz.
Zakaj bi stwari prikriwali, ko pa wsi wemo, da bodo wse slej ko prej razkrite? Razumem, nekomu das obljubo, le-te ne gre prelomiti, ampak kaj pa wse ostale lazi? Resnica boli. Ampak se bolj pa boli laz, se posebej po tem, ko slisis resnico.
Torej poskusimo sami goworiti resnico kolikor je mogoce.
Ok, moj uradn priznanje; Gorgo nikol te nism nwemkok maralo. Si pa sexy pa lustn ... Kokr Barbika ...

Resnica oswobaja.

Ko nekomu powes resnico, se ti ogromna skala odkotali od srca. Pa cetudi ti potem pade na nogo.
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Whats the matter with people nowaydays? Why do they lie? Why do they hide the truth? Why are they treating me as a liar just because theyre like that and I arent good with words? Why cant we live in a world where you simply know how o tell sumthin to someone without having known he/she will later twist every single word you spoke?
I want you to tell me the truth when talkin to me. I want it and I love it and i know I will handle it easier than a well spiced lie. Why hiding things from others while we all know sooner or later all will find out bout them? I understand if u promise someone you wont tell - it's a promise - u mustnt break one, but what about all other lies? Truth hurts. But even more than the truth hurts a lie, especially after you have heard the truth.
So let's try to speak the truth as much as possible.
Ok my official confess; Gorgo Ive never really liked u much. U're sexy & cute though ... Like a Barbie-doll ...

The truth will set you free.

When you tell someone the truth a great rock rolls off your heart. Even though it might fall on your foot afterwards.

Belo in Črno/White and Black

Da naredim konec prekletim debatam o belem in crnem!!!

Moj swet je narejen iz barw!!!
Ni bele in ni crne! To sploh nista barwi!
Bela nastane, ko se pod swetlobo wse barwe med seboj iznicjo, crna je pa mesanica wseh barw na podlagi (ki je po moznosti bela ...)!!!
Prav tako ni wse siwo, kakor wecina wasih gnilih (siwih) celic. Ce zivljenja ne widite w barwah ste se bolj slepi kakor so slepa bitja slepa ...
Zivljenje je lepo, le ce si dobro ogledas wse barve iz katerih je sestawljeno. A ker je wecina wseh ljudi amerikanizirana wsi pricakujejo, da bo ziwljenje lepse, ko bodo izgubili/pridobili 10 kil in zmagali na lotu. Wsi pricakujejo, da bo rewscine konec ce bodo darowali UNICEFu ali Rdecemu Krizu ...
Dokler belec ni prisel w Afriko so bili ljudje tam bogati! Dokler ni prisel w Ameriko so tamkajsni ljudje ziweli tesno powezano z Naravo! Dokler ni prisel w Avstralijo so imeli tamkaj mnogo razlicnih wrst ziwalstva in rastlinstva ...

Clovek je stopil na Luno. Pozna Mars. Zanima ga ziwljenje TAM ZUNAJ. Zeli pomagati tistim TAM ZUNAJ. TAM ZUNAJ, kjer njegowa pomoc nikoli ni bila potrebna. Wsaj ne dokler ni wseh bitij TAM ZUNAJ zasuznjil.
Kaj pa jaz? Kaj pa ti? Tvoj oče in tvoja mati? Bratje in sestre? Prijatelji? Kaj pa ljudje, ki ziwijo w twoji neposrednji okolici?
Morda smo wsi, ki ziwimo w tvoji bljizini bolj potrebni twoje pomoci, blizine in se posebej ljubezni, kot pa wsi tisti TAM ZUNAJ ...

Wsako ziwljenje je sestawljeno iz barw in wsaka barwa predstawlja del tebe in dele ljubljenih in dele drugih, ki w twoje ziwljenje wstopajo in izstopajo le mimogrede. Wsaka barwa je pomembna. Wsak najmanjsi odtenek. Dokler se ne zawes tega se ne bos zawedel lepot ziwljenja in ne bos widel.
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Now just to stop the damn debates about blach & white!

My world is made of colors!!!
There is no black and there is no white!!! Black and white arent even colours!!! White happens to become, when all colours undo one another under the light! And hey u wouldnt believe me! The black is a mixture of all collors!
Also I have to tell u not everything is as grey as your rotten cells. If you dont see the collours you happen to be even more blind as blind can be!!!

Life is beautiful only if you pull your head out of your arse and take a good look at all the collours it (world/life) is made of. But as we know the most of people is americanised and everyone expects to live a swell life if they lose/ad 10 kilos (bout 20 pounds) or win a lottery or sumtin. Everyone thinks the poverty will disappear if they donate to UNICEF or the Red Cross ...

Untill the white man came to Africa people were actually rich there! Untill he set his foot on the new land, America, people lived side by side w/ Nature! Untill he got to Australia many diferent and really interesting species of animals and plants lived there!

Man walked on the Moon. Man knows Mars. He is interested in the life OUT THERE. He wants to help those OUT THERE. OUT THERE where his help or service was never needed. At least untill he enslaved everyone OUT THERE.
What bout me? What about you? Your father, your mother? Brothers and sisters? Friends? What about people who actually live w/ you?
Maybe we are more in the need of your help than all those people OUT THERE together ...

Every life is made of collours and each collour represents a part of you, a part of those u love, and those who just come in your life 'by the ways' and leave the same ways ... Every collour matters. Every single shade. And as long as you wont notice them you wont notice the beauty of life, of living. You wont see untill then.

Opravilo letnik / Passed the school year

Danes sem uradno opravilo letnik. Nisem imelo slabih ocen. Skratka so bile boljse kot wsa prejsnja leta ... Ko sem domow prineslo spricewalo sem bilo nawduseno ... Dokler nisem widelo nereda w swoji sobi ... Ja, mati me ma res rada ... In kot, da to ni (bilo) dovolj, ko je videla moje spričevalo je vprašala (takorekoč) Kja sem naredilo, da sem naredilo in Kako sem dobilo vse tiste ocene (a so mi skozi prste pogledali)!!! Ce jazst ne bi jest bilo, ubilo bi jo!!! Ampak za kaj takega sem cisto prewec leno za to ...

To je wse, folk! Se widimo!!!
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Today I have officially passed all the classes of this years ... (year???) Well I passed the school-year ... Shit, this is weirder (lol) than I expected ... However, my grades weren't bad. In fact, they were much better than those in my former school-years(???)! I don't want to know who's reading this ryt (right) now ... Well, when I brought the school report home I was thrilled!!! ... Ryt untill I saw the mess in my (bed)room ... My mommay (mom, mother, mommy) really loves me, yup she does ... And like if thazz (that is) not enough (!!!) she looked at my report and asked me what did I do to pass all the classes and what to get all those grades!!! If I wasn't me I'd just kill her!!! But I'm ways (I don't use word way, exept if I'm writing sth official ... u know ... like tests ... or books ...) to lazy to do that ...


Thazz all folks! See ye!!!

>Pisanje bloggov< ali >Writing bloggs<

Premisljujem, da bi blogge pisalo tudi v anglescini ozr. samo w anglescini ... Mogoce, kaj pa imam izgubiti ... Kaj prawite wi? ...

Ce ne drugace, poskusilo bom z 2jezicnostjo ...